We have struggled these pasts few months finacially as well as emotionally. My husband and my bond has struggled to say the least and I am proud to say we have overcome it all.
I recently recieved my disability from the Army in a hefty lum sump. I will now get a check for the rest of my life for my broken back, among other things.
I am distrubed however by how everyone seems to feel that our account is an ATM. I have never had more calls from family and friends needing to "borrow" money. Now I have never minded loaning money when it was needed but seriously people? Would you have called if I had no money?
On a happier note; now that we do have some extra spending money, we are getting out of the house more and doing fun things togather as a family. We went to Blue Springs yesterday with my sister and brother in law. We all had a blast floating lazy down the river. Emma (with her floatees on) even swam the river twice! The boys were happy to hang out in the inner tube with daddy.
My husband and I have even be going on date nights out or just cooking a special meal after the kids go to bed. Watching TV and snuggling has its perks.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Matthew
As I sit here typing this my beautiful baby boy plays in his exerciser happily talking to a toy attached to it. Hard to believe that on New Years Eve I was in the ICU with him praying he would make it.
On December 30th at about 7pm I decided to give me almost 3 week old his first real bath. As I excitedly got to washing my baby I noticed he was having a difficult time breathing. I quickly rinsed him off and brought him to my husband to ask his opinion. He thought his chest looked like it was caving in. I hurried got Matt dressed and rushed to the ER. They did blood work and xrays. No one was telling me anything! Finally at midnight the doctor came in with a smile on his face. I breathed in a sigh of relief, everything was going to be okay I told myself.
The doctor said he has pneumonia and we are transporting him to Florida Hospital. I don't remember much at this point. I know I called my parents and I remember my husband coming to see the baby and give me a kiss before he took our only car back to the house. He was staying home with the kids.
The next thing I know I am in an amublance on the way to Orlando. I remember looking over at my sleeping baby thinking he looks so healthy and peaceful. We arrived at almost 4am. Matt was quickly hooked up to an IV, and oxygen. The oxygen monitor is supposed to be between 92 and 100 percent. His was dropping in the 60s. The doctors quickly decided to give him a candula and stop all fluids for now. I remember looking at my three week old baby and wondering if I would ever hold him again.
New Years Eve
The day brought promise they allowed Matt to eat a little and turned his oxygen down from 50 percent to 35. But soon enough the alarms went off and he had to go back up to 50 and no fluids again. I remember waking up as the ball dropped and calling my husband. He had also just woken up.
My sisters wedding was the coming Saturday, I was in the wedding so my stepmom came to sit with Matt while I went. I had not left the hospital since I arrived. Matt was eating again but was on still on oxygen. I was even able to hold him a few times. I have to admit I was excited to see my other two kids and my husband. I had to pick up my dad for the wedding so we where later than planned but still on time. On the way to the wedding my stepmom calls. Matthew has crashed and has been taken to PICU. She assures me that he has the best care available and will be fine. I still feel guilty to this day that I was not there with him.
When I arrive back at the PICU I am shocked by what I see. My baby looks like an elephant with a tube running to his lungs. He has more tubes than I have ever seen coming out of everywhere. I am overwhelmed and start to cry. A nurse appears and ask me if I want to hold him. I quickly shake my head yes. Matt was placed in my arms and we both slept for several hours snuggled close like that.
A few days later I have to return to work, my stepmom sits with Matt in my absence. ( My husband can not stand to be there)
Matt has improved so much he can go back to Pediatrics. A few days later I get a call at work that Matthew is being released. I have never left work so fast.
Matthew is almost 5 months old now and healthy as can be.
On December 30th at about 7pm I decided to give me almost 3 week old his first real bath. As I excitedly got to washing my baby I noticed he was having a difficult time breathing. I quickly rinsed him off and brought him to my husband to ask his opinion. He thought his chest looked like it was caving in. I hurried got Matt dressed and rushed to the ER. They did blood work and xrays. No one was telling me anything! Finally at midnight the doctor came in with a smile on his face. I breathed in a sigh of relief, everything was going to be okay I told myself.
The doctor said he has pneumonia and we are transporting him to Florida Hospital. I don't remember much at this point. I know I called my parents and I remember my husband coming to see the baby and give me a kiss before he took our only car back to the house. He was staying home with the kids.
The next thing I know I am in an amublance on the way to Orlando. I remember looking over at my sleeping baby thinking he looks so healthy and peaceful. We arrived at almost 4am. Matt was quickly hooked up to an IV, and oxygen. The oxygen monitor is supposed to be between 92 and 100 percent. His was dropping in the 60s. The doctors quickly decided to give him a candula and stop all fluids for now. I remember looking at my three week old baby and wondering if I would ever hold him again.
New Years Eve
The day brought promise they allowed Matt to eat a little and turned his oxygen down from 50 percent to 35. But soon enough the alarms went off and he had to go back up to 50 and no fluids again. I remember waking up as the ball dropped and calling my husband. He had also just woken up.
My sisters wedding was the coming Saturday, I was in the wedding so my stepmom came to sit with Matt while I went. I had not left the hospital since I arrived. Matt was eating again but was on still on oxygen. I was even able to hold him a few times. I have to admit I was excited to see my other two kids and my husband. I had to pick up my dad for the wedding so we where later than planned but still on time. On the way to the wedding my stepmom calls. Matthew has crashed and has been taken to PICU. She assures me that he has the best care available and will be fine. I still feel guilty to this day that I was not there with him.
When I arrive back at the PICU I am shocked by what I see. My baby looks like an elephant with a tube running to his lungs. He has more tubes than I have ever seen coming out of everywhere. I am overwhelmed and start to cry. A nurse appears and ask me if I want to hold him. I quickly shake my head yes. Matt was placed in my arms and we both slept for several hours snuggled close like that.
A few days later I have to return to work, my stepmom sits with Matt in my absence. ( My husband can not stand to be there)
Matt has improved so much he can go back to Pediatrics. A few days later I get a call at work that Matthew is being released. I have never left work so fast.
Matthew is almost 5 months old now and healthy as can be.
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